Friday, December 14, 2012


See what I did up there?  Clever, eh?  What with the Progesterone in Oil injections being a Pain in the Ass, literally and figuratively??

Um, anyhow.

Not a whole lot to report around here, except that these shots suck a lot.  At first I felt like they weren't as bad as I had expected, because the actual needle going in, in spite of its giant size, is fast and not the most horrific thing ever.  Even after just a couple of days, though, I started to feel like I was wrong.  The more time that passes, the more the pain builds up and the harder they are.  Now we are two weeks in and I'm just so so so sore.  There are parts of me that I can barely touch.  There are parts that when I walk, or we go over a bump in the car, just scream with pain. There are parts of my flesh that are now numb to the touch.  (Yeah, I called the nurse about that one.  Good news?  It happens relatively often and probably just means we nicked a small nerve.  Bad news?  While I *should* eventually get the feeling back in my flesh in that region of my posterior, there is no telling how long it might take.)  There are parts with lumps and knots of the oil balled up.  There are parts where my muscle just feels sore (like your arm after an injection). Every night, regardless of what pain I'm already feeling, we have to inject again.  I just lay there and breath deeply and close my eyes and Ian makes it as easy as possible.  Sometimes I barely feel it.  Sometimes it hurts a lot.  A couple of nights ago it hurt in a new scary way and when the needle came out, blood poured out, running down my side and staining our sheets.  Ian always checks for blood by pulling back on the plunger once the needle is in before injecting the PIO, so we know he didn't inject into a vein, but clearly the needle must have passed through one on the way down.

It's not fun at all, and every night I sort of can't believe I am actually doing this every night.  In goes the needle, massage massage massage goes Ian on the spot, heat pad for a couple minutes and then I have to get back up and get on with my life.  But, ya know...what else can I do?  I have to do it.  So I do it.

So, yeah.  Fuck you, Progesterone in Oil!  Fuck you big time!

Otherwise, I'm doing OK.  I have made it past the first week of the two week wait with minimal emotional torture, comparatively  I haven't had any symptoms of anything, other than some crampyness and I'm still really delightfully distracted by my new job.  I mean, listen, don't get me wrong, I am still thinking about this every second of every day.  But at least this time it's not the *only* thing I can focus on every second of every day.  It can all share some space in my brain with other things, like holidays and work and my upcoming birthday and travel and...

Ian will answer his Dear Boy questions very soon, I hope.

I'll find out if I'm pregnant or not on Wednesday.

If I start to go insane, which I might, I'm sure I'll post more between now and then.

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