Monday, June 3, 2013

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

If anyone has made their way over here because of my post on Kveller, welcome and thank you so much for reading!  I really appreciate everyone's amazing support and comments.

So, let's go back a little bit here, as I know I've left everyone sort of in the dark in terms of what is going on and what our plan is.  We had thought that after this last FET we would move forward to another IVF, this time growing all of our embryos to day 5 and doing some genetic testing on them pre-transfer, so we would be transfering only embryos we knew were viable.  Well, when we finally met with Dr. Tran to discuss our last failed cycle, we made a pretty major change to those plans.

I want to keep this short and not too boring, so here it is:  the two embryos (of 6) that made it to day 5 in our last cycle were not in great shape.  Dr. Tran basically said he barely counts it as an unsuccessful transfer, since they would have been so unlikely to have implanted.  I wish he had been our doctor for the transfer so we might have had this information before the two week wait, but he wasn't.  So, anyhow.  Because of this, he didn't feel that, if we were truly thinking about doing only one more retrieval, our initial plan made sense.  He said that it would give us more information but make us less likely to successfully conceive.  We aren't going to be looking for info at that point, we'll be looking for success, as it is likely our last chance at going at this in this way.  Instead of growing embryos to day 5 and risking losing most or all of them, we will do more of what we did before - three day transfers.  This time, though. he will transfer 3 at a time, instead of 2 by 2.

In order to give ourselves the best odds possible, we've decided to move forward with a bit more testing before another IVF.  This is why I had the Hysteroscopy last week - to look for any potential issues in the uterus that could be preventing implantation.  I'll get to the results of that in a minute.We will also do a uterine biopsy during a "false" frozen cycle to make sure that my lining is at the day we think it is, to ensure the age of the embryos we are transferring match the age of my lining.  Lastly, Ian and I will each do a full chromosomal karyotyping.   This is to make sure that we aren't a rare combination that cannot successfully produce a genetically healthy embryo.  Obviously, if we learn anything from any of these tests, we will move forward accordingly.  If not, we will go with the plan of IVF and transfers 3 by 3 at day 3.

The Hysteroscopy itself was less horrific than I imagined.  I was drugged up enough to not really feel anything, and to not care about what I could feel.  Dr. Tran turned the screen so I could watch what he was doing and talked to me about everything we were seeing (I told you he knows me well).  At one point the screen was turned so far toward me he had to ask the nurse to turn it back so he could actually see it well enough, which sort of made me giggle.  The nurses were, as always, kind and personable.  They make me feel good.

Anyhow, he saw, and removed (with teeny tiny scissor things) a very very small polyp.  My uterus also had a very minor septum which he bisected.  He doesn't believe that either of these things would really explain our troubles, but felt strongly that removing them would potentially alleviate early miscarriage and would only help our chances of conceiving.  So, they are gone.  I bled a lot that night, and slept a lot for a couple of days (although I returned to work the next day), and had some weird internal pains (well, I guess not weird - probably completely appropriate pains for having had things scraped out of my uterus), but feel totally fine now.  I'm on a month of estrogen to help my lining heal before we can move on to the next test (the fake FET cycle and biopsy).  I just made my appointment to get my blood drawn for the karyoptyping.  I assume Ian is taking care of his appointment (hahaha for those who know Ian).

At this rate, I feel like we're looking at late summer/early autumn for the IVF if all tests come back normal.   We haven't really started looking at/talking about adoption in a more serious way, other than that we know it is the next step after this, we know we are looking at domestic, and we know that there will be a real mourning process before we feel excited about it, although I am certainly excited about it as an alternative to not being parents - it helps get me through the rough moments.

Speaking of rough, and less rough moments....

Pre-Hysteroscopy - the drugs have kicked in

Post-Hysteroscopy - Mmmmmm crackers

Way Post-Hysteroscopy - kitten cuddles