You know what's not the most fun? This combination:
* Cramps without Ibuprofin
* Insomnia without Benedryl (or other sleep aid)
But, I'm trying to be really perfect and not take any of the things they told me I'm not allowed to take. If this gets fucked up, I don't want it to be my fault, ya know?
On the plus side:
* Cramps (and all that goes along with cramps) came as expected based on the manipulation we did of my body by having me take 14 days worth of birth control pills and then stop taking them. So far, so good.
* Baseline appointment tomorrow (blood draw and ultrasound). Let's get this party started! Also, it turns out that I had forgotten how much more pleasant my period is when I'm on birth control. I'm crampy, but it's NOTHING compared to the last 3+ years of non-birth control period cramps.
* All over the world people that I love are in various stages of growing tiny humans inside of them. I feel like this is supposed to bother me, but am glad it doesn't. Not that it doesn't hurt a little bit sometimes. BUT BUT BUT it still falls solidly in this "on the plus side" list.
* One of these tiny humans - well, I will hopefully be there when he is born. How amazing is that???
* My brother-in-law is coming to visit tonight.
* We have a fun wedding to go to on Saturday and I am taking the day off work.
* I won money for sucking at bowling (last place in the league boobie prize, baby, yeah!!!)
* I am getting better at the injections. Faster, less cautious, less afraid. This makes me feel less confined to my house for doing them - less like Cinderella when the clock strikes midnight. I should be adding two more starting tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes.
* I am getting better at meditating. I bought this because apparently I am turning into a hippie (aka am willing to try anything at this point). For others who are in the process of infertility treatments, you can use the code IVF35 to get a pretty good discount. For me, I've found that it provides the same thing acupuncture was providing - peace, restfulness, stress relief etc. So, it is a good substitute because the time and money commitment of acupuncture became too much for me (causing more stress than it relieved).
* I joined the gym and took a zumba class, which was hilarious. #notcoordinated Going to try really hard to get back in fighting shape and not let the side effects of the meds and the depression from the treatments continue to make me doughy and uncomfortable in my skin.
* I am generally in good spirits in spite of how awful this is. I am lucky in so many ways, and I know it.
* People have reached out to me in ways that feel really good. Knowing that strangers and friends of friends have found this blog and found something in it worth reading and been inspired to share their stories with me, well, that's just amazing. And knowing that my friends and family are rooting for me, paying attention, and worrying with me does truly make me lighter.
Let's save the bad stuff for another day, shall we?