Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Latest Humiliation

This week and next week I have to pee on a very fancy and specific brand of very cumbersome and large ovulation test stick each day between 10am and 2pm.  Guess where I am most days between 10am and 2pm...  If you guessed WORK then you win the grand prize!  (The grand prize = you are not an idiot.  YAY!)

Nothing like finding my way to the bathroom carrying this thing, peeing on it, and carrying the peed on version back down the hall to my office (through the library's public hallway) and into my cubicle while I wait for lines to appear 5 minutes later.  Then I get to pull out my peed upon stick right here at my desk and compare the lines to each other and to the picture in the instructions, all while people walk around behind me wondering what the hell smelly peed on thing I'm crouched over at my desk and why.  Then I get to either throw it away in my tiny visible trashcan where it can sit there looking very much like a pregnancy test, or I can carry it into the kitchenette in my office where it can be thrown into a larger trash can with a lid where I will hope no one notices that I put pee in the kitchen trash can.

Today I brought a notebook (inconspicuous right?) into the bathroom with me and placed the un-peed-on as well as the peed-on stick in between sheets of the notebook paper so it wasn't visible while I walked around.    Now I just hope no one needs to get in my desk drawer when I'm not around.  


  1. If it makes you feel any better, I have to pee out of a straw probably for the rest of my life. It is awesome having to dig around in my crotch no matter where I am to find my urethra. Also people don't quite understand why I walk into a bathroom and wash my hands before I enter the cubicle. Oh and if I aim the thing incorrectly I get pee all over my clothes.

    I hope that made you feel slightly less awkward. :)

    1. all health problems that lead to crotch digging can suck it!

  2. I have done this before too! It is awkward :)