Sorry that I haven't posted in awhile. I'm still here! We're all still here!
So, hmm...where to start. I think it has finally really settled in that this is happening and is going to be OK. We've had some scares along the way and I think I really wasn't able to process this (I'm still not able to fully process it, if I'm honest) until pretty recently. I find myself bursting into tears for little reason in the past few days, and I think it's just really actually hitting me that there are two humans living inside of me and that they are our daughters and they really exist and will be part of our lives from now on. They are going to be babies and then they won't be babies anymore and they are going to be sisters and they are going to be cousins to my nieces and nephews and they will have personalities and will look like people and I am so unbelievably grateful and I don't think I can even begin to explain how unreal it still sometimes feels.
I have been able to feel them squirming around inside of me for a couple of weeks and can occasionally feel them from the outside when they are especially pokey. That has helped make it real. They are also reaching the point of viability, which makes me feel safer even though there is no indication that they want to come out any time soon. (I get my cervix and fluid checked every two weeks - although I'm about to graduate to every month - and nothing has changed since day 1. Everything is holding tight.)
The Scary Less Fun Things
I had been feeling pretty safe, since I get an ultrasound every two weeks, but we did have some not so fun moments. Most people have to wait months between ultrasounds early in the pregnancy, so I think I was feeling safe because we saw them every two weeks and they always seemed AOK. But, we found out, at our big mid-pregnancy ultrasound when they really looked closely at everything, that baby A has a marginal cord insertion (and was thus almost a week behind in size) and a VSD (a particular kind of hole in her heart). We were rushed to get fetal echocardiagrams and to talk with the cardiologist, a geneticist and the same neonatalogist who had done our reduction. At this point I was about 18.5 weeks and felt some real fear that one of the babies was not actually going to be OK. It was pretty much the worst. An appointment we exptected to take a couple of hours ended up taking all day and we just had to roll with it and figure out what was up. Part of the fear was figuring out if the VSD was a sign of bigger issues - a more major heart defect or syndromes that would cause all sorts of other potential problems.
Long story made very short - it seems that everything is fine. She is continuing to grow, so the marginal cord insertion is not causing her to be so small that it will be an issue. She will be smaller than her sister, but that's OK. I'm smaller than mine, and we are fine. :) The VSD is still there, but it is tiny and not life-threateneing and may not ever even need treatment and there is nothing that indicates that anything else is wrong. We have a follow-up Echocardiogram on Thursday where the cardiologist will double check that everything is still fine.
We also had a less experienced tech at one appointment think that I perhaps had placenta previa, but that does not seem to be the case, thankfully. Another scare for me, though.
The Gestational Diabetes thing isn't the most fun, but I'm managing it. My first trimester was so awful and I lost so much weight that I am just now passed my pre-pregnancy weight by a couple of pounds. I definitely look pregnant now, but I haven't really gained weight anywhere but my gut, and even my gut isn't as huge as I expected with two babies in there. So, that's been nice. It is growing at a rapid pace now, so we'll see. These babies have to grow to 4x the weight they each are now before they come out, so I guess that means I will have 4x as large a belly.
In the meantime I'm feeling pretty good...don't sleep super well, and have pain in my feet (my heels), but have very very little to complain about.
Due Date Schmue Date
My "due date" is August 8th (which = 40 weeks), but twins tend to come on average at around 36 weeks and at 38 weeks we start talking about inducing, so the due date is even more meaningless than normal in this case. Expect to see babies in early-mid July, I'm guessing.
We have names that we are pretty confident about, but we aren't telling until after they get here, so feel free to get your guessing on. For now, we call them Mary-Kate and Ashley. Or just A and B (since that is how they are referred to in all medical settings). Baby A = Ashley. She is on my left side (my right side if you are looking at me) and is currently head down. Baby B = Mary Kate. She is on my right side and has her butt RIGHT in her sister's face. They are each in their own sacs and have their own placentas, but the membrane between them is thin and apparently they can interact.
Some Photos, Perhaps?
So, hmm...where to start. I think it has finally really settled in that this is happening and is going to be OK. We've had some scares along the way and I think I really wasn't able to process this (I'm still not able to fully process it, if I'm honest) until pretty recently. I find myself bursting into tears for little reason in the past few days, and I think it's just really actually hitting me that there are two humans living inside of me and that they are our daughters and they really exist and will be part of our lives from now on. They are going to be babies and then they won't be babies anymore and they are going to be sisters and they are going to be cousins to my nieces and nephews and they will have personalities and will look like people and I am so unbelievably grateful and I don't think I can even begin to explain how unreal it still sometimes feels.
I have been able to feel them squirming around inside of me for a couple of weeks and can occasionally feel them from the outside when they are especially pokey. That has helped make it real. They are also reaching the point of viability, which makes me feel safer even though there is no indication that they want to come out any time soon. (I get my cervix and fluid checked every two weeks - although I'm about to graduate to every month - and nothing has changed since day 1. Everything is holding tight.)
The Scary Less Fun Things
I had been feeling pretty safe, since I get an ultrasound every two weeks, but we did have some not so fun moments. Most people have to wait months between ultrasounds early in the pregnancy, so I think I was feeling safe because we saw them every two weeks and they always seemed AOK. But, we found out, at our big mid-pregnancy ultrasound when they really looked closely at everything, that baby A has a marginal cord insertion (and was thus almost a week behind in size) and a VSD (a particular kind of hole in her heart). We were rushed to get fetal echocardiagrams and to talk with the cardiologist, a geneticist and the same neonatalogist who had done our reduction. At this point I was about 18.5 weeks and felt some real fear that one of the babies was not actually going to be OK. It was pretty much the worst. An appointment we exptected to take a couple of hours ended up taking all day and we just had to roll with it and figure out what was up. Part of the fear was figuring out if the VSD was a sign of bigger issues - a more major heart defect or syndromes that would cause all sorts of other potential problems.
Long story made very short - it seems that everything is fine. She is continuing to grow, so the marginal cord insertion is not causing her to be so small that it will be an issue. She will be smaller than her sister, but that's OK. I'm smaller than mine, and we are fine. :) The VSD is still there, but it is tiny and not life-threateneing and may not ever even need treatment and there is nothing that indicates that anything else is wrong. We have a follow-up Echocardiogram on Thursday where the cardiologist will double check that everything is still fine.
We also had a less experienced tech at one appointment think that I perhaps had placenta previa, but that does not seem to be the case, thankfully. Another scare for me, though.
The Gestational Diabetes thing isn't the most fun, but I'm managing it. My first trimester was so awful and I lost so much weight that I am just now passed my pre-pregnancy weight by a couple of pounds. I definitely look pregnant now, but I haven't really gained weight anywhere but my gut, and even my gut isn't as huge as I expected with two babies in there. So, that's been nice. It is growing at a rapid pace now, so we'll see. These babies have to grow to 4x the weight they each are now before they come out, so I guess that means I will have 4x as large a belly.
In the meantime I'm feeling pretty good...don't sleep super well, and have pain in my feet (my heels), but have very very little to complain about.
Due Date Schmue Date
My "due date" is August 8th (which = 40 weeks), but twins tend to come on average at around 36 weeks and at 38 weeks we start talking about inducing, so the due date is even more meaningless than normal in this case. Expect to see babies in early-mid July, I'm guessing.
We have names that we are pretty confident about, but we aren't telling until after they get here, so feel free to get your guessing on. For now, we call them Mary-Kate and Ashley. Or just A and B (since that is how they are referred to in all medical settings). Baby A = Ashley. She is on my left side (my right side if you are looking at me) and is currently head down. Baby B = Mary Kate. She is on my right side and has her butt RIGHT in her sister's face. They are each in their own sacs and have their own placentas, but the membrane between them is thin and apparently they can interact.
Some Photos, Perhaps?
About a month ago when I was super psyched to realize that the Ryan Gosling shirt still fit. YAY! (It still fits, actually, but it is getting snug.)
24 week photo. Ignore my face - I look like a total dweeb. Anyhow, this was Saturday morning.
Do people go to Palm Springs for reasons other than hunting down amazing vintage caftans? Hmmm. Confusing. This is what I wore to a wedding on Saturday and felt pretty good about it.
The room that I've finally stopped calling the "As Yet Unconceived Baby Room" is actually two rooms and this is the little back part, which the cat is testing out. We're getting there.
The bigger front room will be full of cribs and dressers and such and it is just getting started. It is further along than this now, but I had to show off the triangles we painted cause we are so DIY.
It's getting harder to get pictures of them because they are big and squished in there. But here's a bit of a profile of Baby B aka Mary Kate from about a week and a half ago.
It is futile to try to resist the temptation of tiny pants.
Wonderful wonderful update! Makes us so happy --- much love!
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