Bed - 6dp5dt

I'm writing from my bed, which I swear I'm going to get out of soon.  I do need to get to work at some point today.  I just feel super crappy.   So I figured I'd blog, then shower.  Cool?  Cool.

The last two days have just been symptoms hell.  It's a lot of the same stuff I've felt in previous cycles, but like on crack - intensified like woah.  Fingers crossed that this is because we've got some implanting going on in there, but I'm not foolish enough to not realize it could just as easily be progesterone side effects (like every other time).  I'd describe what I'm feeling as crampy, pukey (not actual puke, just nauseous),  sweaty, dizzy, achey lower back, and a bad stomach (details not forthcoming).  I'm also super tired, but I feel like that, most of all, makes sense.  My body is working hard.  Anyhow, all of this, it comes and goes throughout the day in intensity.  Right now, it's not so good.

I posted, back in my first cycle, this chart for 3 day transfers. Here it is for 5 day transfer.  By today, I'm definitely either pregnant or not.  But I still have more than a week till my beta test, since UCSF tests on day 14pt.  Might test early.  But I also like to put off bad news.  So, we'll see what happens between now and then.

OK.  I don't have enough sick time left to lay here any longer.  God forbid I use my sick time because I actually feel sick, instead of needing to save it all for future doctor appointments, and having used it all on past appointments.  Awesome.

Anyhow, keep those fingers and toes crossed for me.  If I keep being "sick" like this because I have a baby growing in me, I will happily sit at work all day almost puking with a great big smile on my face.

5-Day Transfer

Days Past Transfer (DPT)	Embryo Development
One	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four	Implantation continues
Five	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

Tender

Just wanted to give a quick update, as I haven't had a chance to tell you how the transfer went.  So, two of our embryos survived to day 5, and we transferred them both.  One of them was a blastocyst, which is ideal for a 5-day old embryo, and the other was a morula, so a little behind, but still growing and doing ok.  The remaining four embryos did not survive to day 5, so these are our last two.  They are "up in there" now, hopefully all cozy and settling in.

I'm feeling pretty tender.  My back is tender (although I do think our new regimen is working better than our last regimen for keeping the buildup of fluid and thus soreness at bay a bit).  My belly is tender (my uterus, I guess?).  Tender is also probably the best way to describe my emotions.  So, that's sort of that.  Tender we go, treading delicately.

Here they are.  We've named them Lebohang (on the left) and Lance Blast (on the right).  If they become real humans someday, these names will not stick.

FET #2 Blast Off Time

So, my transfer is scheduled for 11am tomorrow.  I was hoping to get a massage before my appointment, but can't pull that off, due to the timing, but it's OK.

I've had 4 days of PIO injections now, and they suck, as predicted, and remembered.  Some nights after the injection I just sort of lay there and almost cry because I don't really have any other way of dealing with how much it sucks/physically hurts/rules my life.  We have a new plan for this cycle, and so far have followed it 4 out of 4 days.  Post injection we go for a walk.  Just a short one, most nights, around the block, or a couple of blocks down the street to the water's edge.  This gets my brain in a happier place, and it gets the PIO flowing and moving through my muscle so that the buildup of pain will hopefully be not as intense this time around.  Also, my husband is really nice.

Anyhow, our embryos were all thawed yesterday, so I'm just hoping they're thriving and growing and that we have at least two great ones left tomorrow for transfer.

I'm taking positive vibes and good thoughts and stuff.  Don't really believe in them, but like every other thing I've been doing just-in-case, they can't hurt and they sure make me feel better!

Refrigeration Drama and Plans

Hi y'all.  So, today marks the one year anniversary of my very first IUI and it was also my pre-transfer ultrasound and consent signing appointment for our upcoming FET.   We've been living in our house for nearly a year and today I had this moment of pleasure at the grocery store because all the staff know me and it feels so like a piece of my community and I had this moment of mixed feelings at UCSF because all the staff know me and I love them for being friendly and kind and remembering my name and story, but boy does it suck that this is also a piece of my community.

Last week, when Ian was out of town, our refrigerator died a painful death with ice cream guts spilling out on my hard wood floors. I went running to my neighbors with Folistim and Lupron leftovers in hand needing saving (hooray for friendly neighbors) in their fridge.  The Lupron that I was using every night went back and forth to work with me each day in a cooler.  I refroze the ice packs by day at work and kept the Lupon in my office fridge, and kept it in the cooler at my house by night. Ian ordered us a minifridge that arrived a couple of days later, and I put two things in it, with great pleasure:

1. milk for my morning coffee
2. lupron

So, you can imagine my horror when I went to pour my milk in the morning and it was slushy and freezing.  Yep, crap shit fuck, I quickly grab the Lupron and it is totally frozen.  Dr. Google, and every warning on the container told me it was not to be used if it was ever froze.  Crap. Shit.  Fuck.

Luckily I had leftover Lupron in the neighbors fridge, and the neighbors handed it over and I didn't miss a dose.  And we bought a new fridge which looks and functions a lot like the old fridge (before it broke).  But seriously?  What a pain in the ass!

You know what else is a pain in the ass? The phone call I got today from UCSF telling us we had used $19,696 of our $20,000 lifetime max infertility coverage. So, basically we're on our own now.  If you wondered, that lifetime max covered one full IVF, but we paid for the drugs ($4500) out of pocket, one Frozen Embryo Transfer, including drugs, and the drugs from one more Frozen Embryo Transfer (minus copays).  So thankful, yet again, that all our IUIs were totally free.   So, today we dropped $3099 for this cycle.  If this cycle doesn't work, well, I'll get to that later, but it's back to super duper crazy expensiveville and we need to figure out if/how we're going to manage it.

So, my transfer will be Wednesday (the 20th).  I won't know what time until Monday when they call.  I just took my last dose of Lupron into the stomach.  Starting tomorrow we're back to the horrific PIO back injections, with a couple new ideas from the nurse for ways to maybe make the pain build up less (cause...ya know...it STILL is pretty seriously sore from the last cycle and it's been almost 3 months).  She drew some more circles on my back because Ian is just more comfortable throwing darts at a bullseye than at a blank canvas (when the blank canvas has nerves and blood vessels inside of it).

Ready....Aim....

We're thawing all the embryos (6) and culturing them for 2 more days. We want to transfer two of them when they are day 5 blastocysts, so we hope at least two make it to day 5.  If we play the averages, 3 should make it.  Any leftovers will be refrozen for some potential use in the far future.

If this cycle does not work, our next step will be another full IVF cycle.  Although we may have leftover frozen embryos, they will be sort off like a chicken breast that has been thawed and then refrozen..technically fine, but probably not as delicious as before.  We also want to do genetic testing on any embryos we get from another fresh cycle and the charge is per batch.  So for about $3300, it doesn't make sense to test 1 or 2.  It makes sense to get a good fresh batch, biopsy them BEFORE freezing them, and then you aren't doing the whole freeze thaw freeze thing and you are getting your money's worth (with hopefully more than 1 or 2 embryos coming from the egg retrieval).  Not to get ahead of myself, but you know how I do.

I want to tell you more about my amazing support group and more about how much I still love Dr. Tran, but this is getting long, and I have a warm piece of pie (not a euphemism) waiting for me.  So, I'll save that for another day soon.

Oh! Speaking of not a euphemism - have I ever mentioned here how we are not even allowed to have sex during this part of the process?  And only with condoms for pretty much the entire cycle (aka why bother)?  Yeah.  If anyone ever tells you that making a baby was good for their sex life, they obviously were making a baby the old fashioned way (not in a petri dish).  I can not wait to write my new version of Where Did I Come From? when I get to the other side of all of this.

Anyhow, here's my meds etc. schedule.  Cause you care.